Whenever I'm feeling down, I can usually buoy my spirits by annoying someone else.

The way I look at the situation, if I can irritate a stranger and leave them feeling aggravated, it improves my mood tremendously.

Lately, I admit to feeling a little low on occasion. I won't bore you with the details, but my friends can attest to the fact that things have been somewhat stressful around my household in recent weeks.

If I receive permission from Carol, I might have a column on that for another day.

However, to cure my blues today, I have found that upsetting someone's daily routine is a terrific tonic and a surefire remedy for depression.

A friend who is familiar with my quirky personality sent me something called The Top Ten Ways to Annoy People. Naturally, he found it on the Internet, a place that can be extremely annoying to us all. He probably thought I could use some new routines to get under someone's skin.

The list is a good one, but doesn't contain all the tried-and-true methods I have used over the years.

I thought I might share my winnings ways and some of the Top Ten with you in the belief you too might want to exasperate a perfect stranger on your way to better mental health.

• Ask the supermarket butcher for a bag of bones to make soup. When he points out that there are packages of beef bones in the display case, explain you want the free chicken bones. After all, there must be tons of them available after the butcher debones all those poultry breasts.

• The next time you are attending a birthday party, get close to the cake and just before Birthday Boy blows out the candles, lean in and extinguish them with a mighty puff. Tell the party guests you're sorry, but you needed the birthday wish more than the guest of honour.

• When you are finished using the office copy machine, leave it set on 99 copies, reduce 200 per cent, extra dark and on tabloid-sized paper. Stand aside and watch the ensuing fun.

• If you are called upon to make a Power Point presentation, occasionally twitch your head like a Bobble-Head doll just to see who is paying attention. When asked about your tick, say, “What tick?”

• When you are called for jury duty, make sure the court knows you are disappointed the government has not yet brought back the death penalty. Do this even if you are a potential juror in a civil lawsuit.

• If you are preparing a multi-page document to be distributed to others, staple all the pages in the middle of the page, right-hand side.

• When you are at the Timmy's drive-thru speaker, make sure to repeatedly specify your double-double is "to go."

• Signal that any conversation is over by clamping your hands tightly over your ears. Don’t forget to close your eyes.

• During office meetings, when someone offers an opinion, respond with, "Oh ya? That's what YOU think."

• When the clerk at the lottery terminal asks if you want the Encore as well, after you have asked for a single 6-49 ticket, say yes. But don't cough up the extra buck.

• And one of my favourites – when that telemarketer calls at suppertime, tell them this isn't a good time. When they ask what time would be better, tell them in about five minutes. If they call back, yell at them for being too late. And if they are calling to offer you a credit card, ask if you can use it to pay your bookie.

Many of these hints are guaranteed to anger, frustrate, rile or tick off strangers. As for friends and family members, it's best to remember they know your idiosyncrasies and yet still speak to you.

Count your lucky stars.