So what do you think an almost 31-year-old married man does while his wife is working late on a Friday night?

Hang out with the lads?

Gorge on fast food and watch Top Gun?

Peek through the lingerie pages of the Sears catalogue?

Tut-tut, dear reader.

You’re not even close – at least if you’re talking about this fellow.

What I did was read Archie Digest.

Yes, Archie. As in Archie Andrews, Betty and Veronica and Jughead – just to name a few of the gang.

Now it’s been a long time since I read about the antics of Archie and the folks who live in Riverdale. About 20 years to be exact.

But for weeks, every time I stood in the checkout line at Food-o-mart, I’d catch myself staring at an Archie Digest comic book, right next to Houses You’ll Never Be Able To Afford To Decorate Magazine.

“Just buy the comic book if you’re that interested,” Mrs. Gennings said one night, when we were standing in line together.

“I can’t buy Archie!” I said. “What will people think if they see a serious scribe, such as myself, reading a comic book that’s meant for kiddies?”

“Well it’s just that you sure seem interested. Every time we come in here you look at that book,” she said.

And she was right.

You see, I couldn’t stop wondering what Archie is up to after all these years.

I betcha he’s a university grad by now, I thought the first time I spotted Archie Digest.

He’s probably given up his old jalopy and is driving a Lexus SUV – gone corporate, as the saying goes.

And by now, well he’s probably married.

Likely has a couple of kids too.

Yep, Archie Andrews the family man.

At work by 9 a.m., home by 5 p.m., golf at the Riverdale Country Club on Saturday afternoons.

At any rate, I broke down last Friday, while shopping solo, and bought the Archie Digest.

“Can you put it in a brown paper bag please,” I asked the checkout girl. “I’d hate people to see me with it.”

Mrs. Gennings was working late and so I scurried home with my comic book and groceries.

After putting away the food, I poured three fingers of single malt, put on some Duke Ellington and hunkered down with Archie.

And you know what?

Well, I soon discovered that Archie and the gang haven’t changed at all.

Everyone still lives in Riverdale and they’re all still in high school!

Jeepers – their parents must be really getting tired of the kids still being at home.

And Archie – well the guy still can’t decide between Betty and Veronica.

Personally, I’m a Betty man myself, but don’t tell Mrs. G, or Veronica for that matter. Both have a feisty temper.

Oh, and Jughead is still an eating machine. Burgers, hotdogs, fries, milkshakes, the guy can just suck it all back.

Meanwhile, Mr. Weatherbee is still the principal at Riverdale High – which quite frankly is kind of odd. After all these years the guy should be retired, out playing lawn bowling and checkers.

But nope – not Mr. Weatherbee. He’s still pounding the hallways and keeping tabs on Archie.

And Reggie is still the annoying little snot he was. Boy, what I wouldn’t do for five minutes alone with him in a dark alley.

Some people…

Anyway, after a couple hours I heard the familiar sound of a car door in the driveway and I knew Mrs. Gennings was home.

Ivory The Labrador, our quadruped, scrambled for the front door while I made a dash for my briefcase.

“Watcha doin’ Schmoopie?” Mrs. Gennings said as she stepped through the door.

“Oh just putting away some work,” I replied.

“Working late on a Friday night, huh?” she said.

“Yeah, a little research,” I said, closing the briefcase and casually walking to the kitchen.

And for what it’s worth, I finished the rest of the magazine on Sunday while Mrs. G. was out.

Michael Gennings is a reporter for The Stayner Sun. Feedback is welcome at mgennings@simcoe.com.