Before I get rolling, I must preface this column with a disclaimer: my remarks are not intended as a blanket bashing of women, politicians, or money managers.

It’s simply a collection of some of my usual observations of life around us. If an occasional woman, politician or money manager is offended by today’s effort … too bad.

The other day I was cruising along Big Bay Point Road heading for the 400 when I glanced in my mirror and was freaked out by what I saw. A beater Neon was planted three metres from my bumper and it held four teenage girls, all of them with cellphones up and running.

I had visions of a deer bounding in front of me, forcing me to lock up the brakes, and then watching helplessly as the junker on my tail plowed into my car. I imagined that the tartlet driver would crawl from the wreckage and whine into her phone: “Like, this old dude just stopped!” while her girlfriends called their girlfriends and nobody called 911.

I would have preferred to be tailgated by a semi being driven by a trucker kept awake by a handful of bennies than by these baby bimbos who seemed way more interested in their conversations and their hair (which the driver kept flipping from her face with her free hand, leaving the steering of the car to good luck, I suppose).

* Can anyone explain why it is that women wait until the cash register rings up the final tally before even attempting to locate the cash? When the supermarket clerk says, “That will be $34.93,” then and only then does the woman in front of me at the checkout line go for her purse that is sitting in the grocery buggy.

She opens it and drags out her queen-sized wallet and usually tells the clerk, “I think I have the exact change.” Which, of course, she doesn’t, but we won’t know that until she counts out $34.89 and then has to search for a larger bill or her debit card.

Men always have their debit cards ready to do a quick swipe, speed dial in the PIN number, grab $100 cash back (I don’t know why, since we always use debit) and sprint from the store.

* As Election Day draws closer, have you decided which lucky candidate gets your vote? Or, like a lot of us, are you still undecided or wish there was a “none-of-the-above” choice beside which to make your X.

Here's a litmus test you can use in making your decision … ask yourself which of the candidates you would allow to babysit your kid. Wait, sorry, maybe that’s unfair. Try, which of them would you allow to sit your pet. Makes that none-of-the-above choice a lot easier, doesn’t it?

* Finally today, as a public service, I decided to explain in laymen’s terms, what caused the financial meltdown we’re hearing so much about, what it means to you and what you can do to alleviate the pain.

However, after much research, I must admit I haven’t a clue.

All I do know is that apparently the financial wizards of the world, those people making zillions of bucks for themselves and for stock market speculators, didn’t have a clue either.

And for that they should be fired, not bailed out.

And if your company is firing the little people because it was also caught with its fiscal pants down, maybe your boss should be the first to go.

But that’s just me.